Brain Contents

I remember when I was 20 and I was sleeping, and I met God. At first, I thought to myself: "This can't be God. God cannot be a woman!" Then she answered:

"I am not a woman. I am God. To men I appear as a woman, and to women I appear as a man. I like to see everyone's reaction when I appear as the opposite sex."

It was then that I jumped to the conclusion, (not totally unfounded, mind you) that God was an asshole.

"No, I'm not," she spoke, "I am The One. I am neither Good nor Evil. Tell me -- would someone who was wholly Good create Hell? Or even create Man. Man has the potential to be far more Evil than Satan ever was. I am Perfection, and Perfection is the understanding of all aspects of Life. Evil is merely a misunderstood truth. In all honesty, Evil does not truly exist. Evil was created so that the feeble-minded could combat the unexplained."

What God said made sense, in a distorted, logical way, but it still didn't change my opinion. God was still a bitch, and a preachy one at that!

"Now that you are here, is there anything you want to ask me? You may as well, everyone else does. I will give you three questions. Think and make them wise." God sighed. Her shoulders slumped slightly. It was then that I realized that God was kinda sexy. God blushed and giggled like a young schoolgirl.

Dammit! I have to remember that God can read my mind!

"Yes, I can. Now ask your questions, or I'm leaving. I may be omniscient, but I haven't got all night."

How could I possibly concentrate when God was pressuring me? Sheesh! I decided to cop out and ask God what I'm sure everyone else asks Him, er, Her, er, whomever the Hell God was! You know what? God has a real identity problem.

I began to ask my question, but I suddenly felt humbled. I was in the presence of God! I was about to ask Her the meaning of Life!

"Uh, Miss God, what’s the meaning of Life?"

God laughed. She had a nice laugh. I didn't notice it before, but God was up there on the 1-10 scale. After a good, long look, I realized that God was definitely a ten. Again, God blushed.

"The meaning of Life," She laughed, "the meaning of Life is simple: survival. But you see, when I say survival, I don't mean merely existing. I mean existing with quality, with purpose. You should strive to live the kind of Life you want to live, as long as you follow my ten simple rules," she winked, chuckling at Her biblical allusion.

I heard Her answer me, but I couldn't comprehend what She was saying. I was smitten by God. Her long legs extending through her wispy, white skirt, her golden tresses playfully bouncing along Her shoulders and down to the small of Her perfect back. What else was I to do? I was hard pressed to think of questions as it was, but now it was even more difficult. This beautiful woman stood before me and offered me the opportunity to gain any knowledge I wanted simply by asking and all I could do was think about what Her ass must look like! Was I turning into the type of person I despise? Was I becoming a pervert?

"No, you are not becoming a pervert. Your will is simply bowing to My Power. And to answer your last question: there is nothing you can do. Once you stand before Me and My Power seeps beneath your flesh, there is nothing you can do." God flashed a devilish grin, Her pink lips tight around Her perfect teeth.

I realized then that I had been taken for a ride. My three questions had been used, two of which were not even what I wanted to ask. I began to argue.

"But God, I didn't ask those questions."

"Yes you did, I heard you."

"You couldn't have. I never spoke."

"You do not need to vocalize for Me to hear you." She giggled. I loved Her giggle, but I hated Her reason. A sudden realization struck me -- I, little ole me -- was arguing with God! Was I out of my mind?

"No, you're just out of your body." She retorted. I tried hard not to laugh, but it didn't work too well. God was just too cute!

"And by the way, that's four questions. Feel lucky."

I was infatuated with God! What was I doing? How do I leave this dream before I get in too deep? Hey! That wasn't my thought! What the Hell do I mean by "get in too deep"? I meant that I don't want things to get too hot. Too hot? Huh? What am I thinking? You are thinking about how much you want God! I am? You are. No, I'm not! Look at her, so innocent. Don't you want to be able to tell all your friends that you banged God? No, well... See! I told you so! Hey! Wait a second! I knew those weren't my thoughts! Get out of my head, God! I am not in your head. You are in mine. This whole escapade -- your whole life -- it all takes place in my head. You are here because I thought it so. You exist because I thought it so. Everything exists because I thought it so. Then how do you exist? Which came first: the thought for you to exist, or you existing?

"Enough of this! I've answered your questions already! And please, vocalize! Let us stop this telepathic babble."

"You started it." God frowned. She knew it to be true, but I still felt bad for bringing it up and making Her sad.

"Ok, can I go now? But before I go, why am I here in the first place?"

"You are here because I thought it so."

"Yes, we've already established that. But why did you think me here?"

"I am sleeping. I must have thought of you while I was dreaming."

"So that's it? Because you fell asleep and dreamed of me, now I am here? And what purpose do I serve by being here? What purpose do You serve by being here?"

"What purpose does anything serve?" She asked more of the air than me.

"I don't know. You're God, you tell me."

"I will not tell you everything's purpose, that would take too long. Your purpose, however, is simple. You are here for My enjoyment." Damn that giggle.

"Your enjoyment? Do I exist for Your enjoyment? Or am I just here right now for Your enjoyment?"

"That depends. If I enjoy you now, then at a later date I will want to enjoy you again." God smirked, pleased with Her answer. I was pleased with her grin.

"So that's it?" I said, trying to ignore how beautiful God was and stay angry, "If I perform well today, then I will have to go through this again tomorrow? Then I will simply not perform well today!" I said defiantly. Of course, I had no idea how She wanted me to perform in the first place.

"You have no choice."

"And why not?"

"Because I am God. How can you resist me?" She looked at me, coyly, Her eyes innocent as a child's, staring at me as if She wasn't the Creator, but just a girl wondering why the boys won't pay Her attention.

There it was again! That deep rooted urge to reach out, rip off God's white dress and fuck her violently on the ground.

God smiled, "Ooooh, you animal!" I blushed, but the urge grew.

What was I to do? I was being coerced by God Herself! Am I supposed to resist? Will I burn in Hell if I do? Should I just give in?

"Yes! Yes! Oh yes!" God grabbed me close, took a deep breath and pressed me tight to her chest and whispered in my ear, "Don't you want to say you laid God down and gave it to Her? I am God. I am Perfection. Think of how great it will be!"

My right hand slid down her back and hovered inches from Her ass. She did have a point…